HER WEAPON OF CHOICE... - BEST. SHOW. EVER.

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BEST. SHOW. EVER.

I just saw Eye For An Eye this morning and my life is forever changed. Does anyone know if this show is still in existence? The people on it looked a little dated but that could’ve been because these douchebags were turned away from Jerry Springer or something. That’s how good this show is. It’s actually lower than Jerry Springer on the human totem pole.

This morning’s episode centered around some stocky girl named Vanessa (or Victoria, I can’t remember) who was taking her mother to court™ in order to stop her mom from hanging out with her boyfriend Al, who looked like he would rather bone the male bailiff than either of these two broads. Presiding over this whole white trash train wreck is Judge Extreme Akim.

Allow me to repeat that: Jude. Extreme. Akim. It actually said that on his nameplate. I even looked the guy up (because I was that captivated by this show) and he’s actually a lawyer. A real, live lawyer. Hell, if I could’ve called myself Judge Goddess Simon, I would’ve seriously contemplated law school.

Then, at the end of the show, mother and daughter took part in a rope tug of war in order to win the ultimate affection of Al. An effing tug of war. I’m still having a hard time wrapping my head around the whole thing. Man, I wish I could’ve been a fly on the wall in that conference room when this show was pitched.

“I’ve got this great idea for a courtroom show. We’re gonna get this douchey judge to rule on really petty problems from people in trailer parks who are too bootleg to appear on Jerry Springer. When the people present their cases, they’ll also stand in giant cages. Oh, and we’re gonna get Kato Kailen to host and do play-by-play for the stunt round.”

Greenlight!

Here’s a taste of another episode for anyone who’s interested in wasting a couple brain cells. It’s about a deadbeat dad, which translates into courtroom drama gold.